Five Years: Reflections from Mrs. ATIM

I know what you are thinking. My opinion is not to be trusted because I am Mrs. AllThisIsMeaningless. And while I won’t deny my love for them, I have to admit that my feelings about his music are more complicated. I like to claim that I own the first mixtape that he named an “allthisismeaningless production.”  Many nights in college were spent listening to him play guitar and later spent listening to him manipulate sounds on his synths. I knew then that he had talent, but more than that he had a passion for making music. I was not on the decade-plus long journey of making the album, but I am glad to say that I was around for the last year that it was being completed. I got to be part of conversations about how terrible it all was and how it was going nowhere. I listened and nodded and then asked to hear the album. I got to hear the tracks that were finished and then I got to hear the opening bars of the next few tracks. I got to hear four different versions of the album, I listened while I spent hours driving for work. I got to hear calming melodies and beats that made me turn the music up and roll with windows down and eagerly await what lyrics might be coming. I gave my general impressions, but knew that it was a work in progress and wanted to see his completed vision.
Around version two or three of the album I grew more and more fond of the opening track. I grew attached and invested. I worried about what changes would be made and if I would like it less when the lyrics were added. I loved hearing it all come together, even if he complained that it wasn’t quite right. And occasionally he would admit to being proud of what he had done. I listened to the album on repeat. Waiting for the latest version of “Voices.” Then the day came and I finally heard the words “The voice you’re hearing,” and the song carried me away, leading me through this new and final version of the album. An album that I saw passion poured into. An album that I carried with me in my own way, I took a kind of ownership of. I listened to it while I drove and one night while I was on-call I listened to “Voices” five times in a row and it kept me going. You know what it is like when music hsd that effect on you. He was always surprised when I told him how much I listened to the album, especially “Voices.”

How do you explain the way a song touches you? Is it the opening notes? The chorus? The synth solo?
It is everything. It is the music. And the journey that music takes you on. It is true for “Voices” and it is true for the rest of Hijacking Your Fiction.
I can’t wait to hear more.

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